Gravy in the Graveyard
Things that go bump. Lets see, the following things go bump in the night,
1. Ghosts 2. Blind mosquitoes 3.Drunk men driving too fast 4.The night sticks of security personal doing their rounds.
Of all these the latter kind are the most interesting. Unless you have actually seen a ghost, in which case the interesting top 100 might take a different hue. I spoke to three security type people before reaching this conclusion.
The first one was the night guard in a software company. When I asked him if he liked his job he looked at me like I was a maniac. He actually took two steps back and kept his right hand close to his baton. When I told him I was taking a survey (I was actually waiting for a friend to finish his job and come out so that we could go on a Saturday night binge) he relaxed a bit but his hand still stayed close to his stick. He said he had been doing this job for nearly ten years and all he did was read magazines and drink coffees.
The second was a guard at a nightclub. He said he found his job pretty entertaining. What with carrying bacchius disciples to their cars and knocking the skulls of the odd misbehaving character. He said he couldn’t complain about the job. Besides he was raking in the moolah, tipped heavily by embarrassed girl friends and boyfriends whose other half’s he had to carry to their choice of transport for the night.
The third person was the most interesting. He was the night watchman for a graveyard. Night watchmen for graveyards? It was a crazy question to ask someone sitting in the graveyard at one in the morning. But what could I do, the inquiring mind of mine will traverse through any path however rocky and thorny to satisfy its curiosity.
He told me he had been talking to a bottle of rum for a couple of hours, and the rum having run out of its lifespan was lying in an empty frame of mind and bottle in the corner. Being wise in the ways of the world, I had come prepared, a bottle rum, two plastic containers and a bottle of cold water. I thought of getting a fried chicken but sitting in a graveyard and biting on the leg of a chicken is taking it a bit too far, even by my standards.
We sat down between gravestones and got drinking and talking. I cant repeat all the stories I heard, we spent over two hours talking about night life in the graveyard and helping our bottle of rum towards its demise. I would advice all those who read this to go to your neighborhood grave yard and spend a night drinking with the night watchman. Spooky stories, hilarious happenings, scary moments, sad anecdotes, this guy has seen it all and he ranks among the greatest storytellers of all time. The least surprising fact of the evening was the rums effect on him; it was like water on the proverbial duck.
He told me about the grave of Mary Joseph, people always seemed to trip as they cross it for no apparent reason. The grave of Aloysius where all the huge centipedes (each the size of a grown mans arm) used to meet during the rains. This is a huge graveyard and centipedes holding their annual convention on one particular grave is a surprising fact. Samuel Zackriah's grave where the gravestone breaks on first week of august each year and this has been happening for over a decade. The funny gurgling noise that emits from the belly of Ravi Vincents grave. The weird bearded guy with long locks and a small kettle drum who roams the graveyard at night but is never seen during the day.
I was given the ten-cent tour of the graveyard; unfortunately we didn’t pass through Mary Joseph's grave so at this point of time I cannot verify if the nightwatchman's claim is true. By this time our bottle had reached the end of its tether and went to join its brother in the corner and I was half asleep from its influences. I have a standing invitation to visit my friend in the graveyard anytime I want. Though should I go without a bottle of rum I am sure the welcome will not exactly qualify to five star standards. I will go again and I will write again, you are welcome to join me, just bring your own bottle of rum.
Contributions to
The Get Drunk Foundation
Bar Around the Corner
!!! (cont tommo)Too Drunk Today
1. Ghosts 2. Blind mosquitoes 3.Drunk men driving too fast 4.The night sticks of security personal doing their rounds.
Of all these the latter kind are the most interesting. Unless you have actually seen a ghost, in which case the interesting top 100 might take a different hue. I spoke to three security type people before reaching this conclusion.
The first one was the night guard in a software company. When I asked him if he liked his job he looked at me like I was a maniac. He actually took two steps back and kept his right hand close to his baton. When I told him I was taking a survey (I was actually waiting for a friend to finish his job and come out so that we could go on a Saturday night binge) he relaxed a bit but his hand still stayed close to his stick. He said he had been doing this job for nearly ten years and all he did was read magazines and drink coffees.
The second was a guard at a nightclub. He said he found his job pretty entertaining. What with carrying bacchius disciples to their cars and knocking the skulls of the odd misbehaving character. He said he couldn’t complain about the job. Besides he was raking in the moolah, tipped heavily by embarrassed girl friends and boyfriends whose other half’s he had to carry to their choice of transport for the night.
The third person was the most interesting. He was the night watchman for a graveyard. Night watchmen for graveyards? It was a crazy question to ask someone sitting in the graveyard at one in the morning. But what could I do, the inquiring mind of mine will traverse through any path however rocky and thorny to satisfy its curiosity.
He told me he had been talking to a bottle of rum for a couple of hours, and the rum having run out of its lifespan was lying in an empty frame of mind and bottle in the corner. Being wise in the ways of the world, I had come prepared, a bottle rum, two plastic containers and a bottle of cold water. I thought of getting a fried chicken but sitting in a graveyard and biting on the leg of a chicken is taking it a bit too far, even by my standards.
We sat down between gravestones and got drinking and talking. I cant repeat all the stories I heard, we spent over two hours talking about night life in the graveyard and helping our bottle of rum towards its demise. I would advice all those who read this to go to your neighborhood grave yard and spend a night drinking with the night watchman. Spooky stories, hilarious happenings, scary moments, sad anecdotes, this guy has seen it all and he ranks among the greatest storytellers of all time. The least surprising fact of the evening was the rums effect on him; it was like water on the proverbial duck.
He told me about the grave of Mary Joseph, people always seemed to trip as they cross it for no apparent reason. The grave of Aloysius where all the huge centipedes (each the size of a grown mans arm) used to meet during the rains. This is a huge graveyard and centipedes holding their annual convention on one particular grave is a surprising fact. Samuel Zackriah's grave where the gravestone breaks on first week of august each year and this has been happening for over a decade. The funny gurgling noise that emits from the belly of Ravi Vincents grave. The weird bearded guy with long locks and a small kettle drum who roams the graveyard at night but is never seen during the day.
I was given the ten-cent tour of the graveyard; unfortunately we didn’t pass through Mary Joseph's grave so at this point of time I cannot verify if the nightwatchman's claim is true. By this time our bottle had reached the end of its tether and went to join its brother in the corner and I was half asleep from its influences. I have a standing invitation to visit my friend in the graveyard anytime I want. Though should I go without a bottle of rum I am sure the welcome will not exactly qualify to five star standards. I will go again and I will write again, you are welcome to join me, just bring your own bottle of rum.
Contributions to
The Get Drunk Foundation
Bar Around the Corner
!!! (cont tommo)Too Drunk Today
posted by Antimatter at 6:18 AM
1 Comments:
i am sure there'll be a day when the same watchman at the graveyard (or his successor,i,e. if you live that long)would narrate the story of your grave; the grave that always had empty rum bottles piling up mysteriously!
from someone who knows your drinking habits
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