Short movie reviews for busy people.

Titanic: A polygamous couple in a big ship. Big ship sinks, man dies, woman lives to tell the tale.
Independence day: Alien invasion, President takes a fighter/bomber aircraft on mission to bishooom the aliens. World is saved.
Spiderman: Man bitten by spider. Fights like a spider, moves like a spider (don’t know if he shits like one).
Chicken run: Chickens plan escape from farm. Succeed.
Shrek: Monster falls in love with princess. Marries the princess. Princess becomes monster.
The Terminal: Man stranded in foreign airport for nine months. Man leaves on a flight back to his country.
Saving Private Ryan: Name explains it all.
Runaway bride: Bride keeps running away each time she’s about to marry. Bride doesn’t run away the last time.
Pretty woman: Millionaire falls in love with hooker.Millionaire spends fortune on said hooker. Millionair gets laid.
Ghost: Man is killed, returns as ghost to kill his killer.
Vertical limit: People climb a mountain.
Terminator: Man travels back in time to save the world from destruction in future. Says “Hasta La Vista”.
Speed: Bomb in bus. A bombshell drives the bus. The movie should have bombed at the box office.
Legally Blonde: Dumb blonde becomes dumber blonde.
Fast and the furious: People race in FAST cars. Make the audience FURIOUS for spending money to watch the worthless shit.
Too fast Too furious: People race in cars that are TOO FAST. Makes the audience TOO FURIOUS for spending money to watch worthless shit for the second time.
Total Recall: I don’t recall anything about the movie, sorry.
Rocky: ESPN boxing clippings.
Lord of the Rings: Hobbit goes in search of ring.Hobbit commits genocide in the process.Hobbit does sequels of the same kind.