Nature Unleashed

25000, the current body count according to BBC at 6 P.M GMT on 27th December. This is probably the worst natural disaster since the plague. 25000 is an optimistic count, though one wishes that it would be a pessimistic one. Ground realities say otherwise. I have stayed in the shores of Phuket, Port Blair, the southern coastline of India and Sri Lanka and if nature had done to these places what it did to the beaches of Chennai, then we are looking at figures that could be many times that number.
Most fishing villages in India as well as Sri Lanka share a common border with the high tide line. Two to three meter waves are capable of creating a disaster of gigantic propositions. The consequences of ten-meter waves are beyond the imagination of human faculties.
Heart wrenching scenes in hospitals, family members unable to come to grips with the loss of their friends and relatives who were playing or walking or just doing what they do on a normal Sunday morning on the shores of their closest beach. A mother screaming at her dead son, asking him to wake up. A fisherman who’s lost his father and brother trying hard to hold back his tears as he talks to a TV reporter. A man sobbing and waiting to retrieve the mortal remains of his daughter and sister. Trembling men and women searching among a sea of bodies for missing relatives.
Fishermen, the usually hardy folks who see tragedies on a regular basis (in this part of the world, at least) were overwhelmed by this gross misbehavior of nature. Many thousands of their ilk missing and many more thousands of relatives killed. Walking through the streets of coastal Chennai, where most fishermen live, one could find ambulances returning the recovered bodies at the rate of at least one per street. Sunday television viewing consisted of gory mass burials for people whose bodies weren’t claimed. When entire families are wiped out who claims the dead?
Holiday makes who were spending their Christmas weekend watching the sunrise beyond the seas in amazingly beautiful places across South East Asia. Churchgoer's singing hymns in churches close to the sea that till this day was their version of god meets nature. Described by most news channels as “a tragedy of biblical propositions” maybe they missed the irony of what happened during the time half the world was celebrating Christmas.
The most capable television crew, or Pulitzer Prize winning correspondent cannot describe what happened on the 26th of December. The scale of destruction cannot be told or absorbed by the people who are used to the biggest of disasters.
With reports yet to come from places like Maldives, that is barely one meter above sea level and other assorted islands that the world has largely ignored till black Sunday, the exceedingly huge loss of human life is beyond the widest imagination.
Blaming any government agencies or NGO’s for the rescue efforts or lack thereof for destruction this massive in scale is slightly beyond stupidity, so let us refrain from doing that. Nature decided to show humans the miniscule importance he/she has in the big canvas of things and succeeded quite well.
The nation that was riveted with the viewing of a mega tiff between two brothers fighting over a massive piece of monetary legacy, intellectual property rights and ‘god men gone wrong’ was brought to a sudden halt with a tragic loss that made all that seem insignificant by comparison.

Contributions to: (And this time there actually exists a fund in this name)
The Prime Ministers Relief fund
New Delhi
India.

Awe Struck

What if each of our elementary particle is a universe one level down and each of us is an elementary particle in the universe one level up?
“He who shrank” by Harry Hasse

Takes a quantum leap in the thought process. ‘A thought surely worth pursing’ as Carl Sagan says. Ok, I am in the Carl Sagan rules, mode at this point of time.
Never in the history of ‘science’ did it find an advocate of his caliber who could write for the layman and it doesn’t look like it’s going to find one in the near future. “Brocas Brain”, is the first book I am reading and its just 166 pages down with a lot more to go! Why am I writing about this? ‘Raving’ is usually reserved for authors whose books I've read, either totally, or at the very least, nearing the climax. This guy is an exception. First published in 1978, ‘Brocas Brain’ tries to give you facts and leaves you alone with them. At no point of time (ok, 166 pages of it at least) are you asked to believe in anything written in it. Never draws a conclusion for you.
Sagan was a NASA astronomer who wrote in English as opposed to books written in scientific mumbo jumbo by other scientific types, he spoke physics, chemistry and biology in a language that even I can understand. (If you are a regular reader of this crappy blog and want to know, ‘what's with the ‘I am so humble’ attitude, ….Sorry you don’t get to know). He also happened to have a leading part in launching all early interplanetary space crafts besides winning a Pulitzer prize and reducing NASA’s medal inventory by large numbers.
Sagan doesn’t trash the conventional lay mans thinking, he lays the facts on the table and tells you to pick the dishes you want for dinner.
From ancient myths to modern day astronomers, they all come in for an analytical review. The reader peering over Sagan’s shoulder while he examines the legends, is treated to an extremely comprehendible walk through the scientific maze that is normally ‘scratch the head and wait for assistance’ for unscientific kind of people. Laced with an almost mischievous sense of humor, he maintains a narrative that would give authors of best selling thrillers a run for their money.
Criticizing with dignity takes an effort, and this book is a huge leap in the learning curve. Sagan criticizes with dignity that adds credulity to the criticism. How does one tell which hypothesis is right or wrong? ‘One’ doesn’t.’ One’ does it the Sagan way. Simple, provide the facts, and let the reader reach his own conclusions. The reader (in this case me, which in case you haven’t figured out yet, you need to shut down your computer and go swing from trees.) learns more about the universe and its workings from reading his book than, most followers of obscure religious sects learn in a lifetime. He gives you an interpretation of his thoughts and lets you continue the thinking. Carl Sagan rules! Told you that already? Well, listen to it again.
Name one scripture that lets you think and I will..hmm…buying you a holiday villa in Venice is too much, but slightly lesser wagers are acceptable (Ice cream at the neighborhood store?). Religious books give you conclusions and people find it easier to follow them. If I am told the value of pi to its thousandth decimal place its surely easier than being asked to calculate it. We are provided with conclusions during the growing years so we end up with minimum questions and loads of conclusions. (That is a conclusion! But then, I reached it all by myself. Lollipop for Antimatter.)

P.s. I owe it to a friend for bringing Carl Sagan to my attention. Thanks.

All contributions to be sent to:
Recall the three ‘Medal of Honor’
Americans for a sane America (that would be the entire population minus the government)
US of A

Gravy in the Graveyard

Things that go bump. Lets see, the following things go bump in the night,
1. Ghosts 2. Blind mosquitoes 3.Drunk men driving too fast 4.The night sticks of security personal doing their rounds.
Of all these the latter kind are the most interesting. Unless you have actually seen a ghost, in which case the interesting top 100 might take a different hue. I spoke to three security type people before reaching this conclusion.

The first one was the night guard in a software company. When I asked him if he liked his job he looked at me like I was a maniac. He actually took two steps back and kept his right hand close to his baton. When I told him I was taking a survey (I was actually waiting for a friend to finish his job and come out so that we could go on a Saturday night binge) he relaxed a bit but his hand still stayed close to his stick. He said he had been doing this job for nearly ten years and all he did was read magazines and drink coffees.

The second was a guard at a nightclub. He said he found his job pretty entertaining. What with carrying bacchius disciples to their cars and knocking the skulls of the odd misbehaving character. He said he couldn’t complain about the job. Besides he was raking in the moolah, tipped heavily by embarrassed girl friends and boyfriends whose other half’s he had to carry to their choice of transport for the night.

The third person was the most interesting. He was the night watchman for a graveyard. Night watchmen for graveyards? It was a crazy question to ask someone sitting in the graveyard at one in the morning. But what could I do, the inquiring mind of mine will traverse through any path however rocky and thorny to satisfy its curiosity.
He told me he had been talking to a bottle of rum for a couple of hours, and the rum having run out of its lifespan was lying in an empty frame of mind and bottle in the corner. Being wise in the ways of the world, I had come prepared, a bottle rum, two plastic containers and a bottle of cold water. I thought of getting a fried chicken but sitting in a graveyard and biting on the leg of a chicken is taking it a bit too far, even by my standards.
We sat down between gravestones and got drinking and talking. I cant repeat all the stories I heard, we spent over two hours talking about night life in the graveyard and helping our bottle of rum towards its demise. I would advice all those who read this to go to your neighborhood grave yard and spend a night drinking with the night watchman. Spooky stories, hilarious happenings, scary moments, sad anecdotes, this guy has seen it all and he ranks among the greatest storytellers of all time. The least surprising fact of the evening was the rums effect on him; it was like water on the proverbial duck.
He told me about the grave of Mary Joseph, people always seemed to trip as they cross it for no apparent reason. The grave of Aloysius where all the huge centipedes (each the size of a grown mans arm) used to meet during the rains. This is a huge graveyard and centipedes holding their annual convention on one particular grave is a surprising fact. Samuel Zackriah's grave where the gravestone breaks on first week of august each year and this has been happening for over a decade. The funny gurgling noise that emits from the belly of Ravi Vincents grave. The weird bearded guy with long locks and a small kettle drum who roams the graveyard at night but is never seen during the day.
I was given the ten-cent tour of the graveyard; unfortunately we didn’t pass through Mary Joseph's grave so at this point of time I cannot verify if the nightwatchman's claim is true. By this time our bottle had reached the end of its tether and went to join its brother in the corner and I was half asleep from its influences. I have a standing invitation to visit my friend in the graveyard anytime I want. Though should I go without a bottle of rum I am sure the welcome will not exactly qualify to five star standards. I will go again and I will write again, you are welcome to join me, just bring your own bottle of rum.

Contributions to
The Get Drunk Foundation
Bar Around the Corner
!!! (cont tommo)Too Drunk Today

If you are in love, dont read this

There are two kinds of people in this world. ‘People who reflect on the romance of science’ and ‘people who reflect on the science of romance’ (quote inspired by ‘Broca’s Brain’ - Carl Sagan). The former is something of a rarity while the latter is like the common cold. It eludes me as to how a ‘human being’ can go through an entire lifetime without giving a thought about life, living on this planet and not asking the big, “What am I? What is life all about? ”, question.
Why do people spend an inordinate amount of time thinking how to buy a car that’s bigger than their neighbors, but don’t spend 1/43rd of a second to ponder why the earth goes around the sun and not the other way round?
An often-asked question is, “what is his net worth?” What kind of a dumb ass question is that? How much am I worth? Ok, I am worth sixteen cowries and four hundred glass beads. Go figure.
Life has been simplified. Find the answers to sex and money and you have unraveled the riddle of existence. Sex includes, marriage, divorce, cohabitation et al. What is marriage? Two individuals who are given societies clearance to get laid. If the same individuals live together and do all that married couples do without exchanging a ring or some other such mundane crap, society frowns upon them. Pursuing the materialistic dream is not wrong; how far one goes with it is a question worth pursuing. And there are more pursuits. Men pursue women, women pursue cute little dogs, cute little dogs pursue big horny dogs, and big horny dogs pursue men who provide them with nice juicy bones. Conclusion, men pursue women and vice versa
You think you are better, bigger, badder (sic(ker)) than me. Fantastic, you are. So? You think anyone gives a shit? In my life, I rule. I make my rules and I give a goddamn hoot about what you think. That is what its all about. ME. That’s what I care about. Get used to it. If I said you mean the world to me I am lying. Social workers do their social working because it gives them satisfaction. Politicians, indulge in public service to further their causes or to thrust their opinions on the unsuspecting public. Again it is about them, not about you. . D-uh, what do you want now, a map? Sorry, the cartographer is closed for the day.
You don’t need to bond with anyone to make your life complete. You are all that you have! Your soul mate cannot share your stomachache or migraine. Finding, marrying (look above for explanation) and living with someone who shares your likes and dislikes is as far as one can go with the bonding. Romance sucks.
Oh, yeah, there is a sensible religion and Ayn Rand is its god.

Send your contributions to
Increase Antimatters Net Worth
Blogspot.com
For your convenience I shall be creating a Paypal A/c

Fate Finds A Mate

Its Christmas time. That sugary part of the year where love is all around and people smile at strangers because they are expected to carry a permanent grin on their face. 1/12 of all love stories begin in the month of December. 1/365th of love stories begin on Christmas day! Something sure is special this time of the year. That got me thinking. Ideal mate? For me an ideal mate would be my favorite chair. It stays where I put it. It's only aim is to keep me comfortably numb. It doesn't ask me for anything in return. Name a living being that can compete with that!
But unfortunately I have been asked to write about a dream girl. At first I thought I ll just go to sleep and dream. Fact of life No.1 :Dream girls turn up only in dreams. But additional incentives were offered. Irresistible incentives. So, here goes, if you want to apply for a date with me, here are some but not all of the conditions that need to be satisfied.
You have to be a looker. Maybe not drop dead gorgeous but not one half of the ugly sisters either. Looks do matter. Anyone who says it doesn't was most definitely a loser who was probably voted to park cars at the new years eve party.
An attitude is essential. Don't confuse attitude with a hang up. Attitudes are healthy little creatures that mark the individuality of a person. You need to have an opinion on most things. Fence sitting is alright if you don't have a chair to rest your sorry ass but its a no-no when it comes to taking sides on issues. People who say, "I am neither pro nor anti abortion", are a perfect reason why abortion should be legalised.
I wont open the door or pull a chair for you, if there's a door man and an usherer you are lucky, otherwise use YOUR hands. If your hand is fractured or temporarily out of service, then I will stand back, watch and laugh while you try to pull a chair or open a door using your legs or any other parts of your anatomy.
I will put up with any idiocy you do as long as it gets a laugh out of me or people around us (see I am not selfish). If you are funny, witty and have enough brains to find the punch line in a joke without me having to draw a map, we will get along just fine. Whiners beware, I am known to lose it with whiners. On extreme cases I will get violent or even homicidal.
Do not bother about what the people in the next table, next room or the next country are thinking about you. No one gives a damn. People around you are too busy trying to figure out what you are thinking about them, they dont care about your antics. I am your date, look at me, if you want to spend your evening thinking about how pretty the skirt on girl in the next table looks, then sit at home and watch FTV.
You might be hot, witty and entertaining but so are a few million others. You are not irreplaceable, never at any point assume that you have me eating out of your hand. That will lead to other stupid assumptions and you will make an idiot out of yourself. Spending an evening with an overconfident pompous woman is not on my list of, 'Things To do', for the next quazillion years. I will be tempted to turn sarcastic and I WILL make you cry.
I will drink, flirt with the hostess and generally act like an ass. You will not complain or sulk. That is the price you pay for an entertaining evening with me. If you are mad enough to come begging for another date you will be welcomed into a small but select club of women who have passed the trial by fire.

Send your contributions to:
Antimatters Fund to go on a quest for the perfect date
A/c.000400004 Citibank N.A
Papa New Guinea

Metaphysical Mumblings

God is a collective noun. What if god are intellegient beings from another galaxy? Stop. Think. We are but actors in a stage, but our destinies are not controlled by some all powerful being sitting in his/her golden throne who sends his son for a sojourn here once in a while. We have our choices on all things (like what soap to buy), in fact we also have the power to decide what happens after we die. You can stop reading right now or you will have to read this entire post before calling for the men in white coats to fix me in arm and leg restraints.

Buddha, Mahavira, Vivekananda and a host of other enlightened creatures have said that the ultimate aim of humans is to stop the cycle of birth and death. Zen masters say, your thoughts at the moment you die decides your position on the food chain in your rebirth.
Suppose, at the moment of your death you are produced before a panel of alien beings (God?) who ask, “You have a choice. A) you go back to your planet as you were.(a near death experience?) or B)you can go back as a new being (rebirth?) or C) you can stop all this nonsense and become a part of the force. You come from nothingness (aka “the force)and you go back to it (Attaining nirvana?). What does one decide?
Since we are familiar with this world and humans being are conditioned to move in a familiar direction, most of us take choice A or B. The ego or the “I” factor takes the decision for us. The “I” developed over a lifetime doesn’t allow us to unlearn things in an instant. That’s why all spiritual teachings tell us to let go of all ties, materialistic and emotional. They ask you to stop thinking (I think therefore I am. I don’t think therefore I am not?) Osho the funny guy who almost began a rolls Royce dealership (for the uninitiated, he owned 99 of those frightfully expensive carts) said that a state of NO MIND is worth striving for. The others in the spiritual line up were also equally keen on the No Mind idea. Krishna the forerunner of strategic warfare was also insistent when he said, “the ego is the only thing that will stop you from attaining godhead, nirvana, bliss and other assorted absolute words.”
Life on earth is supposed to be a punishment according to the scriptures, at least the ones that don’t have a hero and sound like a badly written Mills and Boon novel. The choice of getting back to the infinite void is offered to you in each of your lifetimes. And each time we choose to come back to this world, the idea that one can stop this and become “nothing” scares the death out of us.
Living is overrated. Good things happen, bad things happen, what if nothing happened. Terrifying isn’t it? But we have never experienced nothingness. Buddha, Vivekandana, the zen masters and many others who have experienced the concept of nothingness in this lifetime say it’s brilliant. As is the usual case with homo sapiens we worship them and continue to ignore the core of their teaching.

I am going to be a nice guy and answer questions before I am asked.
a.I am not disgusted with life, on the contrary I believe in living it to the hilt.
b.Yes, I know there are lots of loose ends here, tying them up is not my job, you go do your own damn tying up loose ends shit.
c.If you belong to a monotheistic religion and you got an axe to grind its fine with me. Just don’t tell me to go read the bible or Koran, I probably have read it more than you and your grandmother put together. Show me relevant passages that make sense and I will reply.
d.You have the right to think. That is the only right no dictator, censor or moral and immoral police can take away from you. So use it and use it well, you will die one day and might be given a choice. Who knows this entire article might be true.
e.You have the right to complain, about this article. I suggest you use www.customersupport.microsoft.com to do it.
f.I will open an ashram if I get enough pretty women to fill it with.
Send your contribution to:
Buy a Rolls Royce for Antimatter Fund
Antimatter Ashram
To be opened Shortly